I have had the privilege of knowing a number of people who lived quite a long time. My father, for example, is still alive at the time of this writing, having just turned 91 years old about a month and a half ago. He has lived his life well, and I am hopeful he has some years left. So far he has not expressed many regrets in life, and he still seems to have plans and hopes for a longer life yet.
I have had family members and friends who lived well into their eighties and even nineties whose lives were rich and full, practically to the very end.
On the other hand, I know that for some, the end-of-life season can be excruciatingly painful, either because of physical disabilities, mental health issues, degenerative illness, loss of normal bodily function, or other issues. It isn’t uncommon for such people to yearn for the end of life to come as soon as possible.
My mother spent the last couple of years of her life in a memory care facility, non-communicative, confused, and clearly suffering from disorientation (and I suspect loneliness, as well). Eventually she experienced the shutting down of organ function and died there. I don’t know if she desired for death to come quickly, or if, because of her dementia, she didn’t really have the ability to think about such things.
I do hope to live a very long life. If asked how I would prefer to die, my stock answer is, “of old age, and in my sleep.” There is still much I wish to accomplish, or learn, or experience in life, and I am in no hurry to leave my loved ones behind. But the fact that I am in relatively good health for my age certainly shapes my thinking. Were I to be in constant pain with little hope for remedy, would I be eager to live on? I can’t say. The limits of what one might be willing to endure before death are probably different for everyone. Whether one has a sense of enduring purpose or direction surely figures into the equation as well. Surely there is much about this that we still can’t fully understand.
I know that the matter of the freedom to choose to end one’s life is a controversial matter–I haven’t given it sufficient thought to express an intelligent opinion about such things, so I won’t try.
The bottom line for me, as I think of the relative nearness of the end of my life, is that I am hopeful that my death can be forestalled until I am ready to make the transition from this life to whatever comes next.
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(Posted in response to 1/8/2024 prompt)
doug heacock: words 